Little Ruben

Volunteers at Santa Maria del Mexicano

 After the Wedding, a movie shot in India, brought back memories of when I volunteered at Santa Maria del Mexicano. In the movie, a volunteer helps many needy children. I could identify with the story because I volunteered at a home for orphaned and neglected children in Colon,  Queretaro, Mexico. What I noticed was that it doesn't matter what country children live in, they all seem to act the same way.  Chasing cars, teasing each other, reciting in class, following volunteers, playing ball or living in dorms and it reminded me of my time with the Mexican children.

My Kinder Class in Colon, Mexico  1992

My assignment was to teach letters and numbers to eleven children around the age of five.  I  remember all of them: Sandra, Rocio, Sergio, Angelica, Martin, Cesar, Angel, Alejandro, Oscar, Cecilia, and Ruben. They all made an impression on me but none like a five year old, with a dark tan complexion, dark eyes, long eyelashes and a low, rough-sounding voice.

On my first day, we were walking to a local park, when a small hand grabbed my hand. I looked down and his expressive eyes were looking up at me.  In a low voice he told me he knew the way and he would take me there. I soon noticed he seemed to always be near me. He liked to hold my hand. If I happened to be sitting, he would get on my lap. He told me stories.  His mother died when he was born.  He had a sister, Margarita, and a brother, Daniel. They also lived at Santa Maria.  As we passed a doorway a strong smell of beer wafted out to us. In his gruff voice Ruben asked, "Did you see that borracho? He was asleep in the corner, did you see him?  He does not know when to stop drinking.  Hurry, you don't want to see a drunk. Sometimes they hit you." I felt his hand tighten around mine.

Was his father an alcoholic?  How did this little boy know so much about drinkers? I did some investigating and found out his mother drank and had abandoned her family soon after Ruben had been born. He never knew her.  No one knew where the mother had gone but the father worked in Queretaro, about 40 miles away, and visited his children once a month.

Ruben and I became inseparable.  If I read stories to the children, he would be right next to me.  When we ate, he made sure to find a chair for me that happened to be next to his.  Instead of playing with the children he would ask to help me.  I fell in love with little Ruben.  I inquired about bringing him home, maybe a possible adoption. I was told that because of many legal reasons, it was impossible to adopt a child, especially if there was a parent.

Martin

Sergio

Angel

Angelica

Alejandro

When my time to return to the states arrived, I sat with him and explained that even though I was leaving for awhile, I would return.  He cried and said he didn't want me to leave.  He could not understand why I couldn't stay with him in Mexico.  We hugged and cried and I left.  For months I would dream of Ruben.  I wrote to the Nuns in charge and always included a message for Ruben and the rest of my "children."

Ruben

Cesar

Cecilia

             

Sandra

Rocio

The following year, I arrived and greeted my now six year olds.  They called me Maestra and I continued teaching the same group along with some new children in my class. Ruben was distant.  He seldom came near me and when I sought him out, he seemed too busy to talk with me. Our relationship never returned to how it had been that first year. I felt an emptiness and missed our friendship.  A psychologist told me that Ruben was protecting himself from pain. "Your leaving hurt him deeply and he did not want to feel that pain again. He did not want to feel sadness and pain and he decided to stay away and not get close to you again."  It made sense.

Fun Loving Ruben!

This kid stole my heart.

Every year when I returned to Colon, I would see my children growing up.  They went on to other classes but we always reminisced about that first year.  On my last visit, my kids were around seventeen years old. Martin had enlisted in the military service. Sergio worked in Mexico City. Many of the children I knew were gone, including Ruben.  His father had come and taken his children and had not left a forwarding address. I searched for him in his old neighborhood in Queretaro.The house was empty and the broken windows proved to me that the house had been deserted for a long time.  None of the neighbors knew where the family had gone.

Ruben's Family

Love never dies.  My heart has a special spot for my kindergartners who are all adults now.  I often look through my albums and the pictures bring back so many memories. I wonder what happened to the children and especially I wonder what Ruben, who would be around thirty-six years old, did with his life!
  

Martin at Age 8 and 16

Rocio at Age 6 and 14

Gustavo at Age 6 and 14