Should I or Shouldn't I

"Home is a shelter from storms--all sorts of storms!"

Nicholas Christakis

Three months of isolation due to the Coronavirus or as it is also known, COVID 19,  questions roil around in my head. Is it safe to go out? Is it okay to meet with a few friends in their back yards? Have friends been tested for the virus? Is anyone sure it is safe to meet friends?  A large percentage of people are asymptomatic and some people who get the virus are from someone not showing any symptoms at all! ( From CDC; Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.)

I have one friend who insists on having friends over and she says, "We will wear masks, sit 6' apart and meet outdoors in my patio." Another friend who meets friends for a wine party or to play dominoes, says, "If it is my time, then I will get sick and die!" Another group has told me, "We have been healthy, we take care of following the rules so we are pretty sure we are okay getting together." Another friend said, "I do not know of one, single friend who has or has died of the virus."

And then I speak to another friend who says, "I am not ready to go out and will continue to stay inside until I feel safe." Another says, "Some places that opened up had people coming down with the virus." Another friend said, "After things open up, I will still stay indoors until another month has passed just to make sure."  I feel like I am sitting on the fence not sure of what I should do. I miss seeing my friends, yet since this coronavirus is such an unknown, I think I would rather stay in than go out.

The Coronavirus spreading around the world

is calling us to suppress our profoundly human and 

evolutionarily hard-wired impulses for connection: 

seeing our friends, getting together in groups

or touching each other."

Nicholas Christakis

I wonder about how much faith do I have? Should I trust that God will take care of me? When I mentioned this to my sister-in-law, she said, "Yes, but God is quite busy these days so anything you can do to help I am sure he would appreciate it!" The latest on Jefferson County cases as of today
is 2,196 with 171 deaths. That does not seem to be a lot of people for as many people that live in Jeffco.

The rules on staying safe: Stay away from others, wear a mask when going out, stay 6' apart, wash hands thoroughly and often, keep hands away from face, limit exposure to others, social distancing, refrain from seeing friends and family. Okay, so I have the guidelines now I have to make up my mind whether I am going to go out and meet some friends!

"You know how fragile the shadow is!

A light falls on it and it disappears.

Some of the shadows that we fear

and believe that they will always rule

our lives also suddenly disappear."

Mehmet Murat Ilan

Did I Throw Away Twenty Five Dollars?

This morning I decided to go get the Emissions Test for my 2013 car. Since I purchased my car until this year, I have been able to get my license tag without an emissions test. This year, the emissions test had to be checked before I went to the Motor Vehicle Department for my tags.

What I remember of past inspections, is getting out of my car, waiting in a long room with other people and watching through the window as they stuck a hose in the exhaust pipe, spun the wheels and poked around my car.

The place opened at 8 a.m. and I read on the Internet information that they were extremely busy. I arrived at 52nd and Marshall and noticed many cars in a long line stretching for over two blocks. I joined the parade and almost an hour and a half later I arrived to where the testing was being done. One thing I noticed was that it looked efficient as cars were checked. People exited their cars, stood beside the car on a spot marked with an X and the worker looked inside the car, checked the gas cap and told me to get back in my car. Another man came and took my credit card and printed out the report.  I was handed a sheet of paper letting me know my car had passed!

I am not sure what kind of a test was done because none of what I remembered in the past was done. Maybe because my car is only seven years old, maybe they were trying to get as many people through the line, or maybe things have changed since I last had to have an emissions test done. Once I made it to the inspection it was simple and fast and it made being bumper to bumper for one hour and a half soon forgotten!

Here is the ironic thing about getting my tags. One message let me know that the MVD was open so I drove to the office and was told it was closed. That was a bummer. I came home and ordered my tags on the Internet and my emissions test was not even asked for and I wondered if I could have saved the $25 that I paid for the test. I am now up to date on my car registration but paying for something I may not have needed sticks in my craw!

"You do not need to let

anything get you down, but

if you are down, you

certainly need not let

anything keep you down."

Norman Vincent Peale

A Day Of Surprises

My wish for my birthday on May 20, 2020, was to Face Time with five friends. But, it turned out to be a difficult feat. First of all, we have different brand phones; two of us have I-phones and the other persons having Androids. I was told that without I-Phones we could not Face Time, though we would be able to group talk on Messenger.

For over an hour we messed around but I was never able to connect with the other people. "Joined the video chat, the video chat ended, joined the club, started sharing video," must have popped up over fifteen times as we attempted to get every one on the chat. One person, with an I-Phone, and I did manage to see each other and talk to each other but when she tried to add the other persons, I would be cut off.  It didn't matter that I hit the  "accept call," because nothing happened.

 Later, another friend helped me update my Microsoft Edge and we are hoping that the update will be the answer to group talking!

My day was filled with surprises! Every time I went out side I found presents at my front door. The big surprise came when I received a call telling me to go outside and there was a car with three friends.  I walked to the middle of my driveway and they sang Happy Birthday to me. It was wonderful seeing their smiling faces and I realized how much I am missing seeing them after three months in isolation! Tears of joy came to my eyes! When I thought my birthday celebrations, presents, cards, phone calls, texts, had come to an end, I went out to get my mail and found a beautiful planter with purple and white flowers at my front door!

My family in California and I did Face Time and they sang Happy Birthday while I blew out my candle! If we cannot be body to body with someone, the next best thing is a virtual get together! Even today, the day after my birthday, I received belated calls, two different persons sang Happy Birthday to me and I enjoyed four more cards from thoughtful friends!

My birthday would have been a quiet and lonely one if it had not been for my wonderful friends. I thank God for giving me such a thoughtful family and my dear friends who helped make my birthday special. And now I look forward to staying healthy and celebrating my birthday in 2021!

"I don't mind getting older;

it's a privilege denied to so many."

Chris Geiger

Uncertainty, Fright and Espionage

A spy in another country and about to get caught by rebel forces. Trying to find a way out. No way out, and then I wake up. Or needing to use a bathroom and none in sight! A shower in the middle of a bedroom, bed is getting wet and I can't find a towel. I've lost my camera and frantically look for it or just when I am going to take a picture I realize I do not have any film.  Recurring dreams with slight variations.

On CBS Sunday Morning there was an episode about how being in isolation is causing people to have strange and weird dreams. I agree because lately it seems that my dreams are more active with suspense and uncertainty. Last night I was in a foreign county, maybe a 3rd World country, poor
and different than the United States. I was visiting a friend (usually my dreams include a friend from Guadalajara, Mexico) and I am staying with her in a very humble hovel. I decide I want to buy my hosts a gift but I only have a certificate for one hundred dollars. I do not know the price for the money exchange. She brings a male friend to figure it out but I do not trust him. I figure I will give my host twenty dollars because that is a lot of money in their country. I go shopping at a large flea market type area and find a huge double mirror. I ask my friend if she thinks her mother would like the mirror and she nods yes, though I see in her eyes that she would rather have the money.

A party with local musicians will begin around eight that evening, but I do not drive at night yet I really want to attend the party. I ask my friend that if I show up at eight if I can spend the night so I don't have to drive in the dark. She agrees but I am uncomfortable sleeping on the floor even though the blankets are very colorful and beautiful and my thought is what if spiders or mice can attack me while I sleep on the floor. Wonder if driving in the dark would have been better than the fear I am feeling. And I wake up.

Maybe the Sunday Morning episode on dreams is true. I tried to draw some of my dreams but they turned out looking cute and more funny than scary! But, I think you get the picture!

"Dreams are most profound

when they seem the most crazy."

Sigmund Freud

Going Back In Time

When my phone rang and I answered it, my sister-in-law's voice said, "I know it is not your birthday or my birthday but your brother and I were talking about an itch I have and he said I should use Balkoniko." Immediately my mind traveled to when I was growing up and our cat had an itch in its ear (garapatas) and my Mother put some drops of Volcanico in its ear. I told my sister-in-law and she burst out laughing, "What? Your brother wants me to use cat medicine on my itch?"

"Oh, no," I said, it was used for medicinal purposes for humans. She told me that she had never heard of such a thing and put my brother on the phone. He remembered Mom putting Volcanico on any ailments we might have. He recalled it came in an orange box, something I did not remember. I quickly looked up the Volcanico Oil on the Internet and many pictures of the orange box came up. He remembered Mom using the oil to ease the pain of sore muscles. We were surprised that the box also listed it as Turpentine Oil. An interesting fact was that it has been around since 1841!

Our conversation turned to remembering the home cures my Mother used and how we never took aspirin. If we had a fever she would slice potatoes, dip them in vinegar and place them on our forehead. Somehow the fever disappeared. I remember that the potatoes got cooked on our forehead. My brother kiddingly asked, "Did we then eat the cooked potatoes!" He recalled Vicks and being

rubbed down from our necks down to our feet when we had a cold. I remembered my whole body felt cool and being wrapped in a warm blanket. It surprised us how she knew many home remedies to keep us healthy. There was a time when our home had a large quarantine sign on our front porch because I had Scarlet Fever. Dad had to bring food and pass it to my Mother through a window. No one could come into the house and he and my brother slept at my grandmother's house. On the 4th of July Dad went to the doctor's home and asked if the quarantine could be taken off so I could attend the parade. The doctor came and removed the sign and I got to go to the western parade.

We remembered how strong and healthy Dad was throughout his life and how once a week we ate liver and onions for the iron. Also picking spinach in our yard or along the road when we lived on a farm. His garden provided us with tomatoes, lettuce, carrots, radishes, green chile, corn, rhubarb and herbs. We ate healthy because our main protein came from beans. He did not like any thing made artificially, like butter. Once when Mom tried to sneak margarine into something, Dad tasted it right away and let us know that artificial food was not good for us! He walked daily and he took care of his cars, plumbing, electricity, etc. "Work hard," was his motto and he lived to be ninety-six years old!

There was a tornado warning near where my brother lives and we said goodbye so they could charge all their phones, or we would still be reminiscing about our past.

"Let us remember the past with gratitude,

Live the present with enthusiasm, and

Look forward to the future with confidence."

Pope John Paul II

Attending A Virtual Funeral

I clicked on the link that would take me to a friend's funeral and waited for the mass to begin. Seven were present; wife, two children and their spouses, and two grandchildren. The adults wore masks.  The siblings presented the eulogies: The daughter spoke about being loved every day of her life, how her father attended all her school functions, how he loved to travel yet always let her know she should have appreciation for what she had at home, and to take full advantage of life! She called him a cheerleader that helped her through life and mentioned his visit to Kenya to help her while she was there. Their climbing  Kilimanjaro in Africa is something she will always remember and when she wanted to give up he told her the story of the little engine that could and she kept repeating,  "I think I can, I think I can," until she reached the top of the mountain!

The son spoke about being loved and supported by his stay at home Dad. He mentioned that his father was a scout master, daily told him he loved him, and advised him to follow his dreams.  Searching at garage or antique sales was something his Dad enjoyed and collecting coins, stamps, or anything that appealed to him. He enjoyed trivia and would have liked that today is National Biscuit Day and that May 14, the day of his funeral, is St. Corona's feast day, the patron saint of treasure hunters and Pandemics.

The priest, deacon and cantor began mass after the interesting and loving eulogies by daughter and son. The Entrance Hymn was Amazing Grace. A small table with yellow flowers in a vase, a wooden urn, and a picture were in front and to the side of the altar. The Deacon read the Scripture and Fr. Chris gave the homily.  Some of the points were how people who are curious are usually interesting people because they want to know what is beyond the next corner. He mentioned that our outer self is wasting away while our inner self is growing in God's love. Now is the time to mourn but we should be joyful because the person who is now gone is within God's plan of being with him for eternity. The priest asked for prayers for strength and hope as we transition through life.

I watched as the family received communion and the blessing of the urn holding the remains and then mass was over. On Angels Wings was sung the priest's words of "Bring your brother to the peace of your eternal home." made me feel better. Though I felt sad that the tiny baby would not know the grandfather! I watched as the siblings hugged their mother. The one thing lacking in a virtual funeral is not being able to hug those that are mourning. I missed not being able to hug the family and to let them know how happy I was to have known husband, dad and grandfather but how little I knew of his exciting life!

"Don't be dismayed about good byes.

Losing a friend is necessary before

you meet again. And meeting again,

after moments or a lifetime, is certain

for those who are friends.

Richard Bach

The Return of a Friend

It has been about a year that I stopped using my Kindle. It has been a dark screen in a drawer. I stopped using the Kindle when I cancelled Prime with Amazon. The public library became my source of receiving books and therefore, saving money.

There were many stories I enjoyed watching on Prime Videos but since I had Netflix I convinced myself that I did not miss the stories on Prime. Ordering from Amazon was not enough to justify the price of Prime. When I saw an ad that Prime could be tried for a month for free, I decided to return to use Prime. Maybe I could watch the movies or series I liked in three months and then cancel Prime.

Pulling my Kindle out of the drawer I charged it. The Kindle took a long time to charge, about 24 hours. Then began the fun. I had forgotten how to use it and though games, ads, music and videos popped up on the screen, I could not find books. I contacted Amazon and was directed to a help section. After fooling with the Kindle for what seemed like hours, I got on the right screen and ordered three free books. It is a three book series of life on the southwestern Indian reservation.  The Vanished Series, Books 1-3.

The sad thing is that it takes me about twenty minutes before I can actually get to the story. No matter how much I slide and rub with thumb, forefinger, and all fingers the screen with books does not come up.  When I do find it, I hate to turn the Kindle off because of the hardship of trying to get back to my story!

As I read on my Kindle I feel as if an old friend has returned and no longer am I spending time watching Netflix movies. It is true, that the written word is so much better than watching a video though when the Coronavirus hit hard, I could not get myself to read. A book that normally would take me on the average of three days to read took me over three months. Now I am back to reading and so far this story has grabbed my interest! What can I say, "I love my old friend!"

"Reading gives us someplace

to go when we have to stay

where we are."

Mason Cooley

Falling Apart

Almost nine weeks of being in lock-down without seeing friends and not doing anything outside of my home, this morning I noticed I am beginning to decline in my daily life! The first few weeks I scurried around cleaning out closets, drawers, non-essential paperwork and pantry. After that, though there are plenty of things to do, I just don't feel like doing anything. Netflix is my way of passing time. Mass each day and going grocery shopping every two weeks are my highlights.

Today, for lunch, I knew I was falling apart. I ate about 40 Lays potato chips, one Cracker Barrel rich and bold extra sharp cheese stick, one Diana's Banana Babies frozen banana covered in super-dark chocolate, and two hand fulls of extra fancy mixed nuts. After all was eaten, I wasn't satisfied and  really did not feel well.

I am hoping that for dinner I will have a more nutritional meal but sometimes I just do not feel like fixing anything; therefore, I eat what's on hand and easy.

"I love all kinds of bread.

Whenever I crave junk food,

I want salty things like

peanuts and potato chips."

Tyra Banks

Prayers For A Friend

Twelve to fourteen women meet every third Tuesday of the month to discuss books. I joined the book club at Spirit of Christ Catholic Community about seven years ago. A few years after I had joined a handsome man also joined the club. To this date, he was the only male in attendance at our book club. He was soft spoken but always brought good ideas to our discussions. At one point he mentioned that he had a brain tumor but that he was doing all right. I never gave it a second thought because he was active in the church choir, belonged to the Knights of Columbus, sang with the Arvada Chorale, and belonged to our book club. When ever I asked him how he was doing, he always responded with "fine."



A couple of times a year a group of church members would go hear the Arvada Chorale at the United Methodist Church in Arvada. Four years in a row we heard the group sing and each time I would have a picture taken with him. We would laugh and say it was our tradition! His wife worked the concession area and they both became our friends. One year they brought their brand new grandbaby and one could see how proud they were with the baby. After book club meetings we would all go to lunch to continue discussing books or to talk about our lives!

Time flies by so fast, that when I heard that he had gone in for a biopsy and was near death, it was hard to believe. I tried to remember the last time I had seen him and figured it had been about three months ago. At that time, he looked fine. Hearing that he might not make it through the night was a big shock. I received an e-mail from his wife letting me know that he had passed away at home on the afternoon of May 3, 2020. It sounded that it was not the brain tumor that took his life but cancer of the liver. I was happy to hear that he had his wife and children with him when he took his last breath.

Colorado is in lock-down because of the Coronavirus and there cannot be a funeral at the church. Only ten people can be present so all of his friends will not be able to be with him at the final rites.
My heart feels such a sadness at the loss of this kind and gentle man. I know he is no longer suffering but his family will be in mourning for a long time to come. It is not easy losing a husband, father, or grandfather. I pray that God be with the family to help them make it through this sad and difficult time. May our dear friend, rest in peace.

"We go the grave of a friend saying,

'A man is dead.'

But angels throng about him saying,

'A man is born!'

Henry Ward Beecher

Mass is scheduled for May, 14, 2020, and we may be able
to watch it electronically since only his family will be in attendance.

A Job Well Done

A few nights ago when I went to print some information, my printer gave a growling sound. A notice came up saying the printer was jammed. I took out the paper in the tray, opened up the printer and removed the jam. I tried again and this time along with the growl came a screeching sound. I could tell something was stuck inside the printer. Again, I removed the wrinkled paper causing the jam, checked all the hook ups and still the printer would not work. I tried making a copy but the printer would not copy because the paper continued to get stuck in the same spot.

Since my printer is old, at least ten years of service, I figure it would cost more to try to get it repaired than a new printer. I checked printers on the Internet and found one that was in my price range and putting on my mask, (in Colorado we are in lock-down due to the Coronavirus and should only be out in emergencies, therefore the mask) I headed to Costco because of their return policy. I entered the store with all the other masked shoppers and went directly to the printer area.  A turquoise and white printer was the only one I felt I could afford so I purchased it.

Now comes the hard and interesting part of getting it hooked up to my lap top! The first major problem was getting the printer out of the box. It was tightly packed and no matter how much pushing or pulling I could not dislodge the printer from the white Styrofoam arms holding it in place. I opened the bottom of the box, placed the printer on the floor and using all my strength I managed to slide the printer out of the box by shoving it from one end. My next move was getting the printer off the floor without hurting my back!

After a lot of huffing and puffing I placed the printer on the desk next to my lap top. There were no written instructions other than one sheet with pictures. I followed the pictures as closely as I could and when I got stuck I reviewed the picture over and over again. The good thing was that it only had one cable to connect to the outlet. It was so far so good until I came to the part where I needed to insert the ink cartridges. That took more time as I looked at the picture, fooled with the cartridge, looked at the picture again for a hint of what do next while trying to figure the instructions. Finally, I got one red cartridge inserted and even though I struggled with the yellow, blue and black cartridges I managed to get them all installed. Each cartridge had an orange handle-like object on its side of the cartridge that had to be yanked off by sheer force and that was not easy.

Next, I was instructed to contact 123.hp.com to complete the setup. From then on it was following the instructions on the screen and what a wonderful feeing when I printed my first sheet. The whole process took about two hours and twenty minutes! I believe I deserve a pat on the back for getting my printer set up because I am not very good at following instructions to assemble anything!

"I get moral satisfaction

out of putting things together."

Eldora Welty