Hard to Believe

Isabel Allende is a terrific writer and has written many novels. I know I have read most of her stories and going through the Amazon list of her books I found two I had not read. I ordered both of them: In The Midst of Winter and Of Love And Shadows.  I began reading Of Love and Shadows and found it to be, like her other books, fascinating with her choice of words.

At the beginning of the story, there is a mix up of two babies; one dark and one blonde. The description of the babies and the characters in the book,  made me want to read further into the story. Around page sixty when Evangelina is introduced into the story, I felt as if I knew the character. The circumstances rang a bell somewhere in the deepness of my brain. Had I already read this book? Nothing else in the story had given me that feeling. How could I have forgotten the baby switch, the father who works as a clown, the homosexuals, the love stories, the photographer, and so many other interesting characters. Up until page sixty it was like a brand, new book. How could I have forgotten so much of the story, if I had read it before, and why was the part with Evangelina stirring something in my brain. The book has a copyright date of 1984 and that is thirty-six years ago. Maybe that is why I do not recall reading this book!

I continued reading and nothing seemed familiar. So, I figured, it was just like reading the book for the first time! I did not have a clue as to how the story ended. Why had the character of Evangelina and her epilepsy attacks stuck with me when the other interesting characters had disappeared from my mind? It's hard to believe that an interesting story can fade away, especially one of Allende's books. I will read it again with just as much interest as I did the first time, if I did read it before, and maybe I will find out whether I either did or did not read the book.

How can something be erased from a mind yet leaves subtle hints? You know you have been there before, yet you are not positive. Is this how an Alzheimer patient is, remembering bits and pieces of life until it all disappears?

Now, I look at the cover of the other book and I wonder if maybe I read it also. Soon, I will find out after I begin to read In The Midst of Winter. Its copyright is 2017 and chance are that I may not have read it!  One good thing, when memory fails us, is that books can be reread with just as much enthusiasm as the first time!

"A person who doesn't read

is no better off than the 

person who can't read."

Unknown

What To Do When In Isolation

Gibby, my teddy bear, is going to help me show you what is done while cooped up at home during the Coronavirus pandemic. He was a gift from a friend many years ago and is willing to help me with my blog today. He has been sitting in a corner of my bedroom collecting dust, and after a good shake, he is now ready to go to work!



He loves to sit and watch Netflix and I have seen him laugh or cry, whatever emotions are being shown on the movies.










Putting on a baseball cap Gibby is ready for a walk. He watches the news on the television in the bedroom every morning though lately the news is getting too depressing. He
washes his hands a thousand times a day.

He loves to snack on chips, nuts and an ice-cream bar every day!

He enjoys working on the computer and loves Facebook, e-mail, messenger, and the memes. For the past month he has been watching the virtual Mass on Utube or Facebook. Sometimes he reads a book or checks out the grocery ads, though he knows he can't go shopping like he used to in the past.

 His favorite water is Perrier and he spends a lot of time looking into the refrigerator. Sometimes nothing looks good.

 Looking outside he wonders when he will be able to go out without fear of catching the virus that is killing so many persons all over the world. He goes to the little altar and spends a lot of time
praying for his family, friends and that things get back to normal.

 Sometimes for fun, he will get dressed up and put on a wig so he can pretend that every thing is all right. Looking at the calendar he wonders if it is still today. During lock down it is easy to forget what day is today!

Now I have told you how Gibby passes his days; what do you do?

"Age simply doesn't enter it!

The older the friend, the more he is valued,

particularly when he shows so visibly 

the characteristics that we look for in a friend.

You have only to look at a genuine teddy's face

to see at once the loyalty, common sense,

and above all, dependability behind it."

Peter Bull

BS: (Blog Script) The idea came from a friend who does something similar for her granddaughter.

The Safety of Home

April 27, 2020, was a perfect day. The sun was shining, the sky was blue, the trees were budding and I decided to drive to Majestic Park for a walk. Exercise was something I had been neglecting and today I would begin walking and as long as the days were nice, I would continue walking every day.
I debated on whether I should wear my mask and decided on not wearing it because I would be outside away from other people. There are rules in place about staying healthy now that the pandemic of the coronavirus seems to be world-wide! Wearing a mask is one of the precautions.

Arriving at the park, I got out of the car and began walking up the hill. I noticed that it was a bit windy. Would the wind blow my baseball cap off my head? I found a bench and sat down and noticed a sea shell on the bench. Someone had either forgotten it or it was left on the bench for people to enjoy. Two people were flying kites. It looked like fun because the wind continued to blow! Suddenly, a thought entered my mind. What if someone, blocks away from me, sneezed or coughed without covering their mouth. Could the virus hitch a ride on the wind and reach me?

I jumped off the bench and practically ran to my car. I felt safe in my car but it wasn't until I arrived home, my car was in the garage and I was in the house that I felt completely safe. I did the usual routine of wiping everything down with a Clorox wipe and washing my hands while singing the Happy Birthday song twice before I could relax. Even now, I hope the virus did not float my way and if it did, that I cleaned it all away!

Strange how my life has been completely turned up side down and the fear of the virus has me doing things I had never done before. And even after all the measures that are done, no one is entirely sure they have conquered the battle!

"Worry is like a rocking chair:

It gives you something to do

but never gets you anywhere!"

Erma Bombeck

Pantry Blues

"I hate housework.

You make the beds,

you wash the dishes,

an six months later

you have to start all

all over again!"

Joan Rivers

My pantry is a small room about 6' by 6' and for the past two years I have thought about cleaning it out. Today, since I have nothing else to do, I decided to remove all the items and clean it and I thought I would call it the Corona Clean Up! Of course, it may take me all week to complete the job because I tire and get bored easily.

I found a brand new syrup container with the expiration date of 2018 and a box of mashed potatoes that expired in 2016. Gee whiz, I wonder what else I will find! Continued taking things out of the pantry and putting them on my kitchen table, counters, floor and any available space. I was surprised to find Christmas wrapping paper, three packages of straws, a three section plate for horderves, a small crock pot, cloth napkins with rings and a few more food items that had expired.  Now my kitchen is a mess and I have to make my way carefully around the different piles! Washed down the shelves and tomorrow I will put everything back!

Here it is, another day to work in my pantry. Much easier putting things back as I tried to categorize what went back on the shelves. On a day I happened to go shopping at Costco I picked up an eight carton of pork 'n beans and another one of diced tomatoes. Maybe I thought I would never go out of my house again because as I put my items away I realized that I would never eat or use all those cans of beans and tomatoes.   Once I had arranged the pantry like I wanted, I took the cans to the Arvada Food Bank along with "tons" of plastic grocery bags.  The masked fellow who took the items told me that he heard that King Soopers was all out of beans and thanked me for my donation of beans.

"Cleaning out a pantry

when one is quarantined

is the most exciting

thing to do!"

E. Moscoso

Virtual Mass

After almost a month of virtual masses with our local priest, a great homilist, the Pope, and many other churches throughout the world, I am becoming used to watching the mass on my laptop or television. Am I going to be ready to return to a church full of parishioners? Will people be looked on with suspicion?

I listed two things I have missed during the isolation due to the Coronavirus.(1) The good feeling of seeing friends and chatting with them. (2) Receiving the Holy Eucharist and communicating with Jesus within me.

Then I thought about the good things of listening to mass on the Internet. I could hear and see better than sitting in a pew. In fact, I am practically on top of  the altar on the screen. If I missed something said, I could pause and rewind. No getting up and driving to church if the weather was bad. I did not have to get dressed but could watch in whatever I was wearing. I have the ability to watch more than one mass. I can pause the mass if I need to do something and return to where I left off without missing anything.

Makes me wonder if I will enjoy mass the old way because being in isolation has been much easier watching mass or talks via Facebook or UTube.

Though, preaching to an empty church must be terrible for the priests, yet they do it in an exceptional way. One would never know the church is empty. Lately, since we are staying home and we are not supposed to go out into the world, virtual masses have become important to many of us. I just wonder how we will return to what we used to think was normal. One day at a time is how we function in isolation and as each day passes, my guess is that our attitude and way of thinking is also changing.

"Virtual reality is really a new communication platform.

By feeling truly present, you share unbounded spaces and 

experiences with people in your life. Imagine sharing

not just moments with your friends on line, but entire

experiences and adventures."

Mark Zukerberg

More Alike Than Different

Last evening, on April 18, 2020, I watched the television show One World Together At Home and enjoyed seeing the many artists entertaining and raising money for the COVID-19 that has spread around the world. Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon, and Steve Colbert began the show with Lady Gaga singing Smile. This song has always been one of my favorites, but her rendition I did not like. How an artist can take a simple and beautiful tune and make it so different, that at times I did not recognize the song. I hoped that the whole show would not be a disappointment!

Stevie Wonder, Paul McCartney, Usher, Elton John, Alicia Keys, Keith Urban, Celine Dion, L.L. Cool J, John Legend, Taylor Swift, Jennifer Lopez, The Rolling Stones and Andre Botticelli were the artists I recognized. Those I had never heard about were: Eddie Vedder, Shawn Mendes & Camila Cabello, Abby Cadabby, Kacey Musgrave, Maluma, Chris Martin (Coldplay), Lizzo, Bily Eilish & Finneas,  Burna Boy, Awkwafina, and J. Balvin. Some I liked, others, not so much. As you can see, there were more unknown than known.

Some of the speakers were Idris Elba & Sabrina, Michelle Obama, Laura Bush, Ellen DeGeneres, David & Victoria Beckham, Doctors, Nurses, Amy Poehler, Bill & Melinda Gates, Oprah Winfrey, and Priyanka Chopra. All praised and thanked doctors, nurses, maintenance personnel in hospitals, delivery persons, research people, scientists, grocery store clerks, food workers and mail carriers among other essential workers.

All the essential workers on the front lines must have felt good after the tribute they received on the show! Some doctors and many nurses had indentations on their face where the mask had been in place for over sixteen hours as they worked with COVID-19 patients!

As I listened to the people in their individual squares, I checked the backgrounds. I was surprised that some areas looked very humble and nothing like I thought stars would live. I wondered how many persons watching the show were also checking out the backgrounds and this morning on Sunday Morning I had my answer. A segment was devoted to the very topic about backgrounds of the isolated people in their homes. It was mentioned that kitchen backdrops are good place because we can all relate to kitchens. Books in the background show an intelligent person who reads. Looking around my home I found places that would look good as a background. Yes, I realized that we, stars or not, have very similar looking homes. Or it seems after looking at some of the backgrounds!

"Small actions

X lots of people

= big change!"

From the Internet

Passwords Are A Pain

No matter how many times I write down my password, it seems that I can never open a program that asks for my password. Yesterday my family and I were going to use ZOOM to connect with everyone in my family. It is a video communicating program for video and audio group chats. "It's free and easy to use," I was told so I decided to join.

I received a link in my e-mail from my daughter and clicked on it and it sent me to Zoom Rooms. I clicked on that and it asked for my password. I used what I thought was my password but I was declined. Then I went to my second e-mail address because that password has been the same for ever. Nope it did not work either. After half  an hour of trying different  passwords, I was rejected over and over again.  I contacted my granddaughter in San Francisco because she knows everything about the computer, cell phones and electronic means of communication. I tried everything she suggested and together we tried to get me on Zoom with no success. Finally she said, "Without seeing your computer there is no way I can fix whatever is wrong."

I must have six or seven passwords for a program but all of them were wrong. I finally got a new password but even then I could not connect with my family in California. We solved the problem when the six of us went on our phones on Face Time and we were able to talk and see each other.

Trying to remember passwords is a pain and even though I write them down with the date when I get a new password, some programs just won't open! I sometimes wonder if it is a ploy for me to apply for a different password. This evening I did get on to ZOOM and tomorrow I will try to connect with my granddaughter for practice. If I can get on with her, then I think I will be able to do group chats!

"Treat your password 

like your toothbrush.

Don't let anybody use it, 

and get a new one every six months."

Clifford Stoll

Last evening I got into one of my accounts and was thrilled that finally my password worked.This morning I tried the same account, and guess what, I was unable to get in. After three tries with exactly the same password I had used the night before, I was locked out and now I have to contact the company to get it straightened out. I repeat, passwords are a pain!

My Cousin Meets His Maker

When I was around seven or eight years old, my family would visit my Uncle and Aunt. They had seven children but the ones I remember are the ones that were near my age. One boy cousin was closer to my brother's age and the other boy and I were the same age. The four of us would hang around together on those fun visits. My uncle lived on a farm that had a small lake on the property. I remember having fun on the lake. Later, as we grew older, they moved to Henderson and I remember pigs on their property. The smelly beasts were fun to watch, grunt and wallow in the mud.

As we grew into adulthood we lost track of each other and maybe we would see each other about once every ten years. Usually at a funeral or running into them at a restaurant. Their sister who was ten years older than me connected again when we were working on our genealogy. Our ancestors brought us closer together. A few years back I spoke to my cousin who was my age and he had plenty of stories to tell me. He told me that his Dad, my uncle, would tell him tales of our ancestors. The cousin around my brother's age passed away about fifteen years ago. Today I received a call from my cousin and she told me that on March 26, 2020, the cousin who was my age had passed away. He died of pneumonia and there was no funeral because of the coronavirus. How sad is that? He was buried and she told me no one was allowed to be with him or to have a service.

She thought he was in a rehab center but she now thinks it may have been in a hospice. Either way, he is now gone. I told her I would have attended his funeral and she said, "No one was allowed to be with him, not even his immediate family." That breaks my heart. Makes me wonder if he had the coronavirus and that is why he had been in quarantine for two weeks before he died. Who knows, it is just sad the way things are happening lately and scary as to how contagious it can be to anyone near anyone who has it. She did not have a lot of information and our conversation left me with questions.

Did he receive the Sacrament of Anointing the sick?
What was he thinking during his last hours. (His sister told me that he told her that when he got out of the hospital he was going to build duplexes instead of individual homes. In his profession of being a contractor he built many homes in northern Adams County.)
Did he know he was dying?
Did he understand why he couldn't have visitors?
Was it an easy death? I hope so, because I have been told that when the lungs stop functioning it is like drowning.

These are questions I will never know the answers, yet, even though I was not close to my cousins anymore, it still saddens me to know that my cousin is now gone. There are only two cousins left,  out of the seven siblings, and they are in their 80's and 90's. May God be with all of them, alive or gone, and those that are gone, may their souls rest in peace.

"I think about dying.

I've come to realize we

all die alone in one way

or another."

Richard Pryor

Easier Than Making Tortillas

Yesterday, Fr. Greg gave us, via Facebook, the meaning of Holy Week. I have been aware of what happens on the three days before Easter, but never was it explained so clearly as Father's virtual
Catholic Conversations. Holy Thursday gave me a whole new vision of what the day was all about and I decided to follow some of his suggestions.

"Clear off your dining room table, cover the table with a white tablecloth, place a Crucifix, Bible, a basin with water and a towel." Those suggestions were all manageable and on Thursday morning I followed his instructions as I thought about the last days of Jesus' life.

The Seder meal would be a bit more difficult because I did not have a lamb shank! Or, he told us, anything with a bone in it, like chicken. This would represent the Paschal Lamb and the sacrifice to save us. Roasted egg would represent waiting for spring or a new beginning but any egg dish would work. I am hard boiling some eggs for my Seder meal. A bitter herb could be horse radish or parsley because sin is bitter. Apples with walnuts are the mortar, salt water to represent the tears of the people, unleavened bread (Matza), and wine. I decided I would bake some unleavened bread and found it much easier than making tortillas. Flour, oil, salt and water and flattened with my hand and bake for about 8-10 minutes. I ate one with apple butter and liked the flavor. If I ever run out of bread, this bread would come in handy!

At the meal, read Exodus from the Bible and Father suggested washing each others' feet as a sign of humility. After all, Christ washed his disciples dirty feet! That will be difficult to do when one is alone in isolation!

Growing up, and I may have blogged about this already, I remember that on Monday and Tuesday there would be a lot of house cleaning and cooking. Thursday we spent in church and trading food with neighbors. I still remember my Aunt Lala's macaroni and cheese. My Mother would make bread pudding or sweet rice to trade. I remember the Stations of the Cross and the Passion being read while we stood and listened and it seemed to go on forever. There was no music at home, I gave up chocolate, and I remember feeling sad. We were told it was a time of prayer. All I knew was that Jesus had died and we were in mourning.

Lent, in those days, ended on Saturday, called Glorious Saturday. A dance at a local State Armory would be held, I ate chocolate, and everyone was happy. On Easter Sunday we dressed up in new clothes and went to church hoping to find a place to sit. That is how I remember Holy Week. Now I have more of an idea of what happens on the three days before Easter.

"Knowing the Bible is one thing,
Knowing the author is another."
Unknown

The Power of Suggestion

This morning I decided it was time to leave my house and go grocery shopping. Three weeks ago I had been out of my house and everything I had purchased was almost gone. I dressed, put on a jacket, a wool cap and my face mask. In my pocket I put in a couple of disinfectant wipes. King Soopers had upped their game because now they had an in and exit area. The buggies waiting for customers to pickup, I was told, had been sanitized. Since I did not see anyone cleaning my cart, I took out one of my Clorox wipes and wiped down the handle of the cart.

The store was stocked. I could not see any difference of when I had shopped in the past. I picked out my fruit, purchased bread, and continued buying items I needed. I felt a little guilty when I put two jars of apple butter in my cart. Was I hoarding? I love apple butter and if things get worse, I do not want to run out of apple butter! I self checked myself out after wiping the machine with a wipe. Every one had a mask on except the clerk that took my check. I asked her why she wasn't wearing a mask and she said it made her claustrophobic. I took the receipt from her and left through the exit line.

Arriving home I put my car into the garage, and wiped the door handle and my house key. I brought in my purse and garage door opener and gave them both a quick swipe with a wipe. Returning to my car I opened the trunk and with a clean wipe I began wiping everything I had purchased. I put the clean items into my cloth bags and took them into the house and placed the bags with my groceries on the floor. It took about five trips back and forth and on my last trip I removed my shoes, jacket, cap, slacks, sweat shirt, and emptied my purse. Everything went into the washer. I washed my hands while singing "Happy Birthday," twice. I then returned to the kitchen in my bra and panties, to put my groceries away. The next stop was the shower where I hoped any germs would be washed away.

I had followed instructions I had read on the Internet and felt secure that no coronavirus had come into the house. I coughed a few times (which I haven't been doing), got the sniffles, my eyes itched, and I did not feel well. I felt as if I was catching a cold. Could the power of suggestion be so strong that even with all my precautions I felt as if I was coming down with something? I reasoned: Maybe not having a good night's sleep or going shopping before eating breakfast, or the slice of banana bread I ate with a glass of milk at one thirty in the morning or just being outside after being cooped up had given me some sort of allergy reaction.

I do not know why I feel crappy but I realize that it could be the power of suggestion on how easy it is to pickup the virus. Time will tell!

"Worrying will not do

anything but make us

feel worse than we already do."

Brianna West

My Secret Battle

This battle I brought onto myself. It is a battle I fight daily. I made a huge mistake when I went shopping at Costco. I happened to see a large container of  Dark Chocolate Sea Salt Caramels. Because I try to watch my weight and because I have been told I am diabetic, my brain told me not to buy the container. My taste buds, part of my brain and stomach urged me to buy it. Two one inch squares have 21 carbohydrates. I did not read the sugar or fat content on the label because what I don't know can't hurt me, or can it? I figured if I ate one square that would be 10.5 carbs. My body could surely handle that amount of  carbs.

It seems that my whole life I have battled sweets. I am like an alcoholic and if I eat a small piece I have to continue eating, sometimes until I feel ill. Once I remember eating a whole lemon merengue pie in a day. This container of chocolates, which I should have never purchased, has become a temptation for me but I do not have the courage to throw it out; which is what I should do.The battle comes when I eat one square and before the gooey caramel disappears from my mouth, I find myself wanting another square. I may find myself arguing with myself for hours. Some days I eat two squares while others days I won't have any but think about the candy all day long. I get the container, open it, smell the dark chocolate and put the lid back on. That's on a good day. I know I never should have purchased that container. If I am in a religious mood, I offer my suffering up to God. After all, it is Lent and I used to give up chocolate for Lent so why not now? Other days I eat one square. Somedays I eat two squares, and my reasoning is that the more I eat the faster the temptation will disappear! Some days I won't touch the container. Yet, being in isolation and having that delicious candy in the house is a BIG temptation!

I know that I am just fooling myself and probably in denial but I will continue doing battle and some days I win the argument and other days I fail miserably.

"I love dark chocolate,

I could eat it 'til I puke."

Behati Prinsloo

What Else Is There To Do?

After cleaning out drawers, discarding clothing no longer needed, reading, and being on the computer, what else is there to do? I don't know about anyone else, but I have become hooked on Netflix. As I scroll through the many titles on Netflix I pick those that I think look interesting or that  could be entertaining. I go from detective, comical, documentary, drama, and love stories to historial and true biographies. Some of the series last from two to eight weeks of constant watching. I suppose most can be called soaps but once I get hooked I must watch until the end. I am listing some of the stuff I have watched; some great and others pretty bad!

1.      Velvet: The final movie of a series I had watched earlier. Felt good to get closure!
2.      Self-Made: Inspired by Madam C.J. Walker re her cosmetics for black women.
3.      Chocolate: Korean love story.
4.      Dr. Foster: mismatched couple
5.      The Grand Hotel: Lives of owners and guests of hotel
6.      Morocco: Love in time of war - nurses during the Spanish War
7.      All I Wish - looking for love
8.      Cathedral of the Sea -Spanish historical novel
9.      Dean: Father and son struggle with death of wife/mother
10.      Ala Vajkunthapurramuloo: Indian move about switched babies at birth
11.      The Occupant - man tries to take over another man's life - thriller
12.      The English Game: Soccer, Written by Julian Fellows who wrote Downton Abbey
13.      When Calls The Heart - Romance between school teacher and Mountie
14.      The By Gone: Native American girls sold to oil men
15.      Horse Whisperer with Robert Redford 
16.      Unfinished Song: Tear jerker of a chorale member who is dying of cancer
17.      Holiday: two girls switch homes in Los Angeles and England
18.      Holie Goalie: Monks and soccer, sacrilegious
19.      Broadchurch: Mystery of a young boy who is murdered; continues with different        stories
20.      Eugenie Nights:  Wife abuse plus forbidden love
21.      Badland:  western
22.      Tiger King  wild animal preserves, PETA, 
23.      Road to Perdition: Tom Hanks, Paul Newman; gangsters
24.      Indian Horse: hockey; Indian children sent to white schools   
25.      SAFE: Detective mystery
26.      El Silencio es Benvenido: In Spanish,  slow moving ride through Mexico
27.      Cadillac Records: Black musicians and singers 
28.      Kapoor & Sons: two brothers from India; love story, infidelity 
29.      Some Kind of Beautiful: Love Story
30.      W/E: Two stories - Duke of Windsor
31.       I Don't Know How She Does It: Working, married, children     
32.       The Five: Mystery of missing boy and DNA shows up at another murder
33.       Anne With an E: Great series of adolescents growing up
34.       Love, Wedding, Repeat: Silly movie re love
35.      The Killing of the Sacred Deer: Weird, Nicole Kidman in story of doctor killing a a           boy's father and what he has to do to make up for it.
36.      Angel Has Fallen: Plot to kill president-lots of shooting
37.      Polka King: Jack Black as Ponzi schemer Polka King Jan Lawan - true story
38.      Cable Girls:

For a few hours, or sometimes a lot of hours, I am transformed into a different life and become one of the characters in a story. I get upset, angry, cry, and sometimes yell at someone's stupidity! Some of the stories are mediocre while others are well-plotted with great acting. Being in isolation would be extremely boring without Netflix and that chance to escape into fantasy worlds!

"Life is a banquet

and most poor suckers

are starving to death."

From Auntie Mame