"It Don't Mean Nothing"

The Wall That Heals is at Faith Christian Academy in Arvada and today I drove over to see it.  I tried to remember what I knew of the Vietnam War and realized I did not know much. I knew people were against Jane Fonda for her stance on the war, that it lasted for a long time, that we never won the war, that young men were fleeing to Canada to avoid going to war, and when soldiers returned home they were greeted with jeers and put downs. A friend who served in the Vietnam War told me: "I did not have a night that I did not sleep with my helmet on, that I was  afraid of being killed by a sniper, that most of the soldiers were on drugs because it was the only way to survive and I will never forget the rain and mud!" Another friend told me her brother served in Vietnam and when he returned he was not the same health wise as when he left.

Today, as I approached the large field, the first thing I saw was a huge tractor-trailer filled with information about the Vietnam War. A film of all the soldiers from the Metro Denver area was shown. I saw faces from Westminster, Longmont, Aurora, Littleton, Denver, and many other cities as the faces rolled by. The young men's pictures passed slowly on the screen as people watched for someone they knew. A few stepped up to take a picture of a father, son or relative. My heart felt sad at the loss of so many young men.

Other panels were interesting as they showed different aspects of the war. A motorcycle with names inscribed on the gas tank, notes sent from the war zone to their loved ones; boots, helmets, and canteens had writings from the soldiers.

On one of the panels I read how after one soldier, after he came home wanted to do something for those soldiers who had lost their lives in Vietnam. He wanted to build a wall in tribute to the many who lost their lives. He began fund raising and when enough was collected he held a contest to see who could come up with an appropriate memorial. A twenty year old Chinese student going to school in the United States won and the wall was erected in Washington, D.C. The wall I saw is smaller than the one in Washington, D. C. but it is quite moving and a feeling of wanting to cry overcame me. So many names!

When I looked across the field and saw the wall with 58,318 names I was amazed. So many dead. I saw people rubbing a name by using a blank sheet of paper and a pencil. Some people were embracing and crying, and that brought tears to my eyes. Vietnam vets wearing a vest, jacket or cap showing they had also served in Vietnam wandered around the field. Some were taking pictures and yet it was a very somber gathering.

The wall stretched to a corner going west and the turned to continue going north. Some flowers with notes to loved ones were scattered at the bottom of the wall. I heard one woman say, "I can't find his name." A volunteer stepped up to help her look. I hope they found the name because it must bring some satisfaction that a loved one has been remembered.

There was a picture of a sculpture representing the women who were in Vietnam. I feel a bit ashamed that I never gave Vietnam much thought and especially of women who also served in the military.

Seeing the wall, seeing the people moved by the wall, seeing the veterans who made it home, and seeing how many soldiers were lost in the war, was enough to make me retreat to my car to cry.