A friend was at St. Joseph Hospital, and I decided to go visit him. It had been a few years since I had been to the downtown area and my phone GPS took me down Lowell, I-70, 38th avenue, Curtis Street, Park place and 19th Street. As I passed Regis University I recalled how I worked during the day and attended college in the evening. Passing Berkley and Rocky Mountain lakes reminded me of meeting my father and walking around the lakes. We had many conversations and one conversation was his story about how he believed his father did not love him. Since I never heard my father tell me he loved me, I wanted to hear his story.
I was outside playing ball with my cousins and my Dad arrived home. He was friendly with my cousins and asked for the ball. He then threw the ball as hard as he could to me and knocked me down. If he cared he never would have done that. Another time I had a pony that was so black it looked blue. I loved my pony but one day I got home and the pony was gone. My father had sold it. I was sad and cried for my pony. He should have told me so it would not been such a shock to me! Another time, we were traveling by a wagon pulled by horses and my dog jumped out and when I asked my father to wait to see if my dog would come back, he wouldn't. I never saw my dog again!
I remember telling him to tell me how he felt when those things happened that made him think his father did not love him. He said his heart hurt and it made him sad. I then said, "That's how I feel because I do not think you love me." He said I was silly to think like that because he did care for me." I wasn't convinced but I did feel a bit better! I understand that in the era of my father, it was not proper to hug or say I love you. But I did wonder if he loved me!
As I continued on my way to St. Joseph's hospital I recalled when I worked and I had to drive downtown. In those days, I never thought I would get old. Reaching 38th Avenue I knew if I turned right I would end up at Chubby's with delicious burritos. Near Curtis I remembered visiting my Uncle Tony and my two aunts, Lupe and Aurelia, who lived somewhere in the area. My mother, their sister, would visit them often and I would go with her. One evening I went to pick up her up from a visit and as I ran to their front door because the neighborhood was not the best, I did not see a wire encircling a small plot of grass. I hit my shin and down I went. The pain was unbearable and when they opened the door, after my frantic knocking, they saw me crying and blood covering my foot and thought I had been attacked by some evil person. I still have a scar where the wire cut me.
Park Place was completely changed with new buildings and the only thing I recognized was a baseball field. I remembered seeing baseball being played in that field. Nineteenth street was a place where I had worked at one time. A couple I knew lived in the building before it was converted to a business along with an attorney friend who had an apartment in the building. I remembered fun parties in the building!
When I got to St. Joseph's it was a different building of when my son was born in 1963. Yet, the name was still the same. There is a beautiful statue of St. Joseph with baby Jesus in the reception area! I recalled my son and how he loved to hear Puff, The Magic Dragon Who Lived by the Sea, and how I would sit in a rocking chair and sing to him.
I found my friend's room, and we had conversation which was me asking questions and he answering me. He is slowly getting better though he may be in the hospital a few more days. I may visit him again before he is discharged and maybe I will recall many other memories!
Sometimes you will never know
the value of a moment
until it becomes a memory."
Dr. Seuss
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