Mama Tito

My Grandmother Monserate's light blue satin comforter was so soft I felt as if I was on a cloud. It seemed to cuddle me when I spent the night with her. She would gently rub my head and tell me stories until I fell asleep. She was my father's mother and we called her Mama Tito. She and I were very close until she made a comment that frightened me.  One day, as she hugged me, she said, "Hijita, I love you so much, that when I die I am going to take you with me."

From then on I stopped going to visit her.  I stayed away hoping that "out of sight, out of mind" would hold true and she would forget me and what she had told me. When I was forced to visit her,  I tried to stay away from her and left as soon as I could.  She mentioned this to my Dad and he told her it was just my age.  "Kids are funny," he told her.

I never told a soul about my fear and when she had a stroke and lay paralyzed for almost twenty years, I prayed that she would never die. When she did die, I was married, pregnant with my son, and living in Denver. I did not attend her funeral in Greeley. One time, my father asked me why I had stopped visiting his mother.  I told him because I was afraid that when she died she would take me with her, just like she said she would.  He laughed and said, "How silly you are. Imagine if everyone was able to come and take their loved ones, there would be nobody left on this earth! Everyone has someone that loves them or that they love!"

Many years later, as I traveled through Europe, I happened to be in Barcelona, Spain.  I found a brochure on a monastery named Montserrat and thought I would visit my grandma's namesake.
There were many curves on the way to the monastery and I kept thinking, how strange if the bus should crash and I would die.  Her prophecy would come true.  I knew how ridiculous the thought was but I couldn't keep the idea out of my head.

Monk's dorms

I visit the Monastery of Montserrat.

The monastery is nestled among huge boulders in a mountainous area.  It is run by a Benedictine  Order. A short walk from the main buildings takes one uphill to where spectacular views can be seen.  The basilica houses a black Madonna holding a gold ball and Jesus as a boy. She is referred to as La Moreneta or the Black Virgin. Many make a pilgrimage to Montserrat to pray to the Black Virgin. Arches surround the square and statues of Saints are placed near each arch. If one stands in the arch, an outstanding panoramic view of the mountains can be seen.



The Basilica



The Black Madonna



 

I spent the afternoon wandering the grounds, enjoying the views, praying in the chapel, enjoying the art in the museum, and most of all, giving thanks that my grandmother had loved me so much.  I felt bad I had not spent more time with her but I do have wonderful memories of the time I did spend with her. Down deep in my thoughts, I was also happy that I returned home safe and sound!