Four Years Ago

 Four years ago, my heart was torn out of my body. Yanked with no mercy, leaving an ache that hurt a lot and left an empty spot. There is no way a  person can live without a heart. Yet, I continued to live knowing that my son was gone and I would never see or talk to him again. My heart slowly returned, and if I could see it, I am sure it would look like a shattered mirror.

Was it fair that someone so young should be ripped from this world leaving nothing but pain and emptiness? My son, fifty-three years old, had died way before his time. Shouldn't a parent go first before losing a child? Could his parting have been prevented? 

There was no chance to say good-bye. No time for a final farewell. The only consolation I feel are the words the priest said, "His mission on this earth has been completed."  Mission or no mission, his life from this earth has been deleted but I will not allow his life to be erased because I will keep his memory alive. I know that as long as someone dwells in your heart, that person is still alive! Photos and memories help keep my son alive for me.

No matter that it was such a blow, I have to accept that he had to go, leaving only memories to fill an empty hole. Good-bye my son, although four years have passed my pain continues to last and yet, knowing that you are in heaven now, helps to somehow, ease the pain.

Four Years Ago

Each Day

the emptiness

in my heart

rests quietly

until a memory

springs forward

and it is as the 

day I lost my son.

Remembering

 when my son died,

I wonder, will the pain 

of that loss

ever subside?

E. Moscoso

October 26, 2020