A Singing Voice

"Oh, hijita, you are off  key," or "you sound a bit flat." This is what I heard as I was growing up. It didn't matter that I sang in a choir, that I had been in a musical in high school and had to sing in front of an audience, or that I loved to sing around the house. It seemed as if my father always had a negative comment about my singing. And I believed him. I didn't think he had a good voice but I never told him what I thought. Doubt began to enter my mind when one time while singing in the church choir, he said, "I could hear you, and you sounded off key." I had not uttered one word that day because I had a cold. It made me wonder who else in the choir was as flat as I was!

When I saw the movie Florence Foster Jenkins I wished I had been surrounded by people that made me feel as if I could sing, even if I couldn't. My mother, who sang or whistled while she worked around the house, never said a thing when she heard me singing. To this day I do not know if I can sing or not. I do have a complex and in church when we sing our responses, I sing in a low voice. If there is a strong singer next to me, I believe I am singing right along with that person. But I will never know because evidently people cannot hear how their voices sound. I slowly stopped singing around my family and find that the only place I feel comfortable singing is in my car when I am alone.

A friend who happened to hear me sing said, "You have a nice voice." I told him I didn't like to sing because I never knew if  I was on key or not. He said, "Anyone can sing, you just have to find your own pitch." He boosted my confidence a wee bit.

In the movie Florence Foster Jenkins, everyone catered to Florence; her husband, her voice coach, and those who loved her. They encouraged her and praised her. I thought for sure that at one point she would sing on tune, but it never happened while she was alive. She never seemed to realize she did not have a voice and that some persons laughed at her. My favorite quote from the movie was when she says, "Some may say I can't sing, but no one can say I didn't sing!"

Maybe I will begin singing again and whether on or off key, I will enjoy singing along with my favorite singers!

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Addendum: By pure chance I received my Netflix choice called Marguerite. The story takes place around 1921 and is about a rich lady who loves singing. Her flaw is that she sings off key. A blurb on the envelope states: Marguerite has been living her passion in her own bubble, and the hypocrite audience, always coming in for a good laugh and acting as if she is the diva she believes she is.

In some ways the two movies are similar by her off-key singing at a large concert hall and wearing feathery wings. The plot differs with her servant photographing her at the beginning and ending with her last photo when she hears herself sing, The movie has funny parts, sad parts and lots of bad singing! Two different movies with sort of similar plots but entirely different stories!