A Special Candle

Over the tabernacle at Spirit of Christ Catholic Community, hangs about five pale turquoise candle holders that I thought were just for decoration. When I found out that the candles represent someone that had died, I got one for my son on his one year anniversary of his death. The candle will burn for one week and then another loved one will take its place. What a wonderful way to remember those that have gone before us. For one week I will see the candle and feel as if he is near me.  It does not seem like a year that he left us and I can only wonder where has the year gone without him. Even with this past year gone by, the pain of missing him does not diminish.

On November 2 I will take a candle to mass, place it in front of the ambo, along with many other candles, and the mass for All Souls will be celebrated. A beautiful ceremony in memoriam of loved ones who have gone to be with Our Holy Father. Today, my family will gather together for lunch and remember my son. 

At one in the afternoon, we met at the Old Spaghetti Factory. His father, his half-brother, his sister, one niece, his two children and I met to spend time together. Seeing my grandson, who reminded me of my son, brought tears to my eyes. What a wonderful lunch being together, enjoying delicious food, and taking photos.

Not a day goes by that something happens or I see something that reminds me of my son. Even with all the daily reminders, he is always in my heart. It is strange that he is more present in my mind and heart than when he was alive. Maybe it is because I know I will never see him as he was, talk to him, argue with him, laugh with him, get angry with him, hug him or know that he is around and alive. I have to be satisfied with the memories I have of him.

For now, the candle gives me a sense of satisfaction and someday, when we meet again, we will have so much to tell each other.

"When the young bury

the old, time heals 

the pain and sorrow,

but when the process

is reversed, the

sorrow remains forever."

Joseph P. Kennedy