Another Son Is Gone

Yesterday I attended a funeral for the son of a lady from Spirit of Christ Catholic Community. She always greets me with "Hello, girlfriend." I like how sweet she is and how she hugs me when she sees me. Today, my heart was sad. Her fifty-eight year old son passed away and I fully understand the sadness one feels at losing a child.

I was unable to make it to the mass but I did see her at the reception. The video of her son's life brought tears to my eyes. Seeing him as a little boy on the screen made me wonder about life and death. We just do not know when our lives will end. The thought of death is something we all know yet seeing the little boy grow up to be a young man and then into an adult and then to be gone is tough.

Of course, I thought about my son and how short his life had been. It doesn't seem right that a child goes before a parent.  Yesterday there were many people at the reception and 

that gave me a comfortable feeling knowing he had been loved by so many relatives and friends.

 

I understand the emptiness felt at losing a child. Comfort comes with time, knowing that there is no more suffering for your child, and that some day you will meet again! Yet, it is a difficult time knowing that while on earth you will never see or talk to your child again.

"Death leaves a heartache

no one can heal,

but love leaves a memory

that no one can steal!"

From the Internet

An Oasis in Arvada

This morning the "chicks" gathered in the beautiful, lush, green park-like back yard, of one of my friends, for coffee. (In a previous blog I mentioned that the chicks are six friends who meet, investigate, enjoy and like being together.) A coffee blend with sweet butter plus croissants was to be on the menu. Since I do not drink coffee I was prepared decaf mango-peach tea. It was light and refreshing. The rest seemed to enjoy their coffee and I heard some uhmms and ahhhs!

What a relaxing morning in the cool patio as we looked at all the flowers and drank our drinks before everyone went rushing off to doctor's appointments, funerals and a meeting to plan a reunion.

Soaking in the beauty of the yard, being with friends, and enjoying our conversations was as close as we will get to heaven on this earth.  Some of us said that when the hard-working gardener goes on trips we will sneak into her backyard to sit, read and enjoy the peacefulness of her yard!

"Friends are flowers

in life's garden."

Okakura Kakuzo

My Creative Friends

Somewhere in self-help books I have read that you should surround yourself with friends that make you feel good and help you grow. I found a perfect friend in Spirit of Christ Catholic Community and we would meet for lunch and coffee. I do not drink coffee so she drank coffee and I drank tea. I mentioned to her that I preferred one-on-one friendships. She said she liked doing things in groups.

It took about a year as one-by-one the coffee group became four and now it is six. One friend began having movie nights at her home and we jelled into great friendships. Now, I would find it difficult to not be around my five friends. The combination of all being readers, travelers, all liking to eat, and all having creative minds has kept us together in a fun and interesting group.

Another friend of mine asked, "Who thinks up the things that you do?"  I told her that all of us have come up with an idea at one time or another.  Last Sunday evening we were invited to a Make Your Own Pizza Party at one friend's home. She prepared the dough and then we were each given a sheet of parchment paper and she plopped a glob of dough on it. We had a choice of using a roller or our hands and I chose hands to spread the dough in a circle. She had toppings, others brought more toppings, and we created delicious pizza! The small pans were perfect for each one of us to make our own pizza. While we prepared our pizza we sipped on frozen strawberry daiquiris.

 We have had a Color Book Day, a French Party, an April Fool's Party, African Food Day, traveled to Nebraska to see the Sandhill Cranes, visited a Lavender plant farm, and we have celebrated Christmas and Easter celebrations. The party or get togethers begin with a special Gin and Tonic prepared by our very own bar maid!

This blog would become too long if I listed every time the group has gotten together for fun and talk. Meeting for coffee we can sit and talk for three to four hours. After a few attempts on Messenger we were all able to correspond with each other under the name of "chicks." In this manner we all knew where and when to meet for another excursion or visit!  I know that my life has been enriched by these ladies and I am so happy that I went from one-on-one to a gaggle!

Gaggle: A group lacking organization.

Merriam-Webster Dictionary

"It Don't Mean Nothing"

The Wall That Heals is at Faith Christian Academy in Arvada and today I drove over to see it.  I tried to remember what I knew of the Vietnam War and realized I did not know much. I knew people were against Jane Fonda for her stance on the war, that it lasted for a long time, that we never won the war, that young men were fleeing to Canada to avoid going to war, and when soldiers returned home they were greeted with jeers and put downs. A friend who served in the Vietnam War told me: "I did not have a night that I did not sleep with my helmet on, that I was  afraid of being killed by a sniper, that most of the soldiers were on drugs because it was the only way to survive and I will never forget the rain and mud!" Another friend told me her brother served in Vietnam and when he returned he was not the same health wise as when he left.

Today, as I approached the large field, the first thing I saw was a huge tractor-trailer filled with information about the Vietnam War. A film of all the soldiers from the Metro Denver area was shown. I saw faces from Westminster, Longmont, Aurora, Littleton, Denver, and many other cities as the faces rolled by. The young men's pictures passed slowly on the screen as people watched for someone they knew. A few stepped up to take a picture of a father, son or relative. My heart felt sad at the loss of so many young men.

Other panels were interesting as they showed different aspects of the war. A motorcycle with names inscribed on the gas tank, notes sent from the war zone to their loved ones; boots, helmets, and canteens had writings from the soldiers.

On one of the panels I read how after one soldier, after he came home wanted to do something for those soldiers who had lost their lives in Vietnam. He wanted to build a wall in tribute to the many who lost their lives. He began fund raising and when enough was collected he held a contest to see who could come up with an appropriate memorial. A twenty year old Chinese student going to school in the United States won and the wall was erected in Washington, D.C. The wall I saw is smaller than the one in Washington, D. C. but it is quite moving and a feeling of wanting to cry overcame me. So many names!

When I looked across the field and saw the wall with 58,318 names I was amazed. So many dead. I saw people rubbing a name by using a blank sheet of paper and a pencil. Some people were embracing and crying, and that brought tears to my eyes. Vietnam vets wearing a vest, jacket or cap showing they had also served in Vietnam wandered around the field. Some were taking pictures and yet it was a very somber gathering.

The wall stretched to a corner going west and the turned to continue going north. Some flowers with notes to loved ones were scattered at the bottom of the wall. I heard one woman say, "I can't find his name." A volunteer stepped up to help her look. I hope they found the name because it must bring some satisfaction that a loved one has been remembered.

There was a picture of a sculpture representing the women who were in Vietnam. I feel a bit ashamed that I never gave Vietnam much thought and especially of women who also served in the military.

Seeing the wall, seeing the people moved by the wall, seeing the veterans who made it home, and seeing how many soldiers were lost in the war, was enough to make me retreat to my car to cry.

Who Is Irena Sendler?

I had never heard the name and when I received the Netflix movie titled, The Courageous Heart of Irena Sendler, I was ready to find out about the woman. The cover of the DVD explained that in the early days of World War II, Polish Catholic social worker Irena Sendler devises a daring plan: Disguised as nurses, she and colleagues gain access to the Jewish ghetto in Warsaw and smuggle some 2,500 Jewish children to safety.

There have been many stories and books that I have read or seen about the Holocaust, yet this movie showed the agonizing separations between parents and children. Also, the loving and caring Polish families who adopted the Jewish children at a great risk to their own lives. It surprised me that the children had to learn how to make the sign of the cross, pray Catholic prayers and never speak Yiddish in order to fit into their new families.

The Jewish parents had fears that their children would be converted to Catholicism and lose their Jewish faith so they hesitated in letting the children go with Irena. Every child's name and where the child was placed with documented and saved so that when the war was over the children could be returned to their own families that might still be living in Warsaw.

An interesting movie that once again brought up how cruelly the Jewish people were treated by the Germans. Irena is captured and tortured but manages to escape with the help of people working in the underground.

She lived to be ninety-eight and in her talks she always stressed to pray and remember those parents who gave up their children, for the families that took in the children and for the many Jewish persons killed at that time.

"I swore never to be silent

whenever and wherever 

human beings endure

suffering and humiliation. 

We must take sides. 

Neutrality helps the oppressor, 

never the victim. Silence encourages

the tormentor, never the tormented."

Elie Wiesel

Self-Timed Photos

When a group picture is to be taken but the photographer can not be in the picture, it is always fun to try a self-timed photo. I say fun because those self-timed pictures do not work the first time I try it. Either the photographer does not have enough time to get in the picture before the "click" or if she makes it to the group it's a partial body picture.

While the photographer fools with the camera, resets the timer and makes a mad rush to get into the picture, everybody else patiently waits and yells at the photographer to hurry. If the camera takes the picture, every one's expression is not the best.

Yesterday, after six or seven tries I did manage to get a picture with me in it. I had to step over and around the dog who insisted on leading the way! Most of the pictures were taken before I had set the camera to self-time and those turned out okay. When I finally made it to the group, I was not sure I was in the picture. But, when I acually

saw the picture, I liked it because it looks as if two of us are dancing!

Being so busy fooling around with the self-timer that I did not notice that one of the ladies was hiding behind small flower pots.  So much for trying to get a good group photo!

Friends, you and me.....

you brought another friend....

then there were three...

We started our group....

our circle of friends...

and like a circle, there is no 

beginning and no end."

Eleanor Roosevelt

A Day With Friends

Today we drove to Heritage Lavender farm and even though it took us awhile to find it because GPS had us going in circles, we finally found it. The sign to the farm is small but with eight eyes looking for it, we finally spotted the driveway leading back to the many lavender plants! Maxine, a friendly German Shepherd, greeted us as we got out of the car. We met the owner, Trudy Perry, and she told us all about the farm. She mentioned that she had worked in Health services and wanted to do something different. All I could think of was, what a fun second career!

Reading her brochure I found out that Heritage Lavender is, "Nested near the quiet hills of Berthoud, Colorado, Heritage Lavender is home to over thirty different varieties of lavender." In one acre there are over 500 lavender plants. The plants are grown using organic practices without the use of synthetic chemical herbicides or pesticides. It is good to know that some growers are farming without chemicals and more interested in healthy growing.

Even though none of the plants were blooming she did mention that in July the lavender flower will be seen all over the area. Made me think I would like to return to see the area covered in lavender blooms! In the meantime, while my friends looked at plants to buy, I went into the gift store and purchased lavender soap and a sachet of lavender. I liked the smell of lavender.

On our way home we stopped for lunch at Aunt Alice's Kitchen and noticed that the parking lot was full of cars so we figured it must be a good place to eat.  The menu had a large variety of things to order, the service was good and we were seated right away in a large booth. Could we have asked for anything more?

Our next stop was the Cheese Importers and I have never seen such a display of orange and yellow flowers. The entrance and the tables covered in colorful tablecloths gave me a happy feeling! Inside the narrow aisles had French items on either side and one could spend hours just looking at books, aprons, glassware, candy, trays, lotions, bowls, and anything French that might be needed! The special cheese room was cold with hundreds of varieties of cheese. They do have jackets hanging by the entrance to the cheese room, in case it is to cold for those entering the room to find a cheese!

After Cheese Importers there was some discussion as to whether we should go the Flower Bin, a place to buy plants and gardening stuff.  Since I was the only one without a garden or flowers, my three friends decided to stop. I was glad we stopped because I found neat items to photograph for my blog while they purchased perennials

.
On our way home we were hit by a heavy rainstorm that kept the windshield wipers splatting at a fast pace, yet when we neared Arvada we could tell that not a bit of rain had fallen. As everyone got dropped off with their plants and memories, we said goodbye and agreed the day had been special and full of fun.

"True friendship is when friends can walk

in opposite directions yet remain side by side."

Josh Grayson