Mightily Confused

What ever happened to separation of church and state? I am confused as to what to believe. My heart believes that two persons in love should be able to be together. My mind reverts to what my religion tells me, that matrimony should be between a man and a woman. Could it be because of the procreation theory? I understand that urges have to be controlled or everyone would be like rabbits, fornicating every time they got the urge. Yet, when two people are in love (or believe they are) whose to say it is wrong; man/woman, woman/woman, or man/man?
 
In the past I believed gays were promiscuous and just wanted to have sex with many different partners. But, now I understand that gays seek pretty much what everyone else seeks. Love, companionship, and someone to grow old with; the same as heterosexuals. I used to think environment or how persons were raised determined if they would be gay. Now I believe it is the same as being born left-handed and they have no control on whether they will be gay or not.

The idea of gays wanting marriage I can understand because of the legal aspect. I knew a Lesbian couple who were together for 15 years and had a house, car, furniture, property, etc. When one died, the other was left without anything. Everything went to her partner's family and to me, that was unfair. If it takes a piece of paper to prove a couple is married, then I believe they should have it.

On the other hand, the church teaches us to love our neighbor and that love is the most important commandment in the church yet, the church is opposed to gay marriages. On the Sunday after the passing of the law for gay couples to be married, I wondered what the priest would say in his sermon. All he said was we need to love anyone who is different. I thought about John 13: 34-25 ...that you love one another, just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this, everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." The verse does not say "you shouldn't love anyone that is different."

I read where some clergy will refuse to marry same sex couples. Then I saw where if they refuse the non-profit status will be taken away and churches will have to pay taxes. This is where confusion enters the picture.  Will priest marry non-traditional couples to keep from paying taxes? Or will they follow what they believe is in the bible that only man and woman should marry?

Where have the simple, easy days gone where everything I was taught was not questioned? It seems that everything is now left up to a few judges to decide what is right.  Do I follow my heart (It doesn't bother me that two people in love marry even if they are of the same sex) or do I believe what my religion tells me, (marriage is only between a man and a woman?)

As I write the last sentence I wonder about a friend of mine who married a woman in a church and was married to her for twenty years. After twenty years, he decided he was a woman and became a woman. Now it is two women living together, still very much in love, and now what do they do? Remarry as two women or will their old marriage license still work? I wonder if anyone else is as confused as I am!